


Logical Decisions

by Lovethistoomuch



Series: Spock/McCoy Love Story [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Friendship, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 08:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19943191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch
Summary: Without further ado, he came to the point quickly. “There were some things I wanted to discuss with you since my return from Vulcan”, Spock began to explain. McCoy's body shifted slightly as he leaned against the table behind him, fixing Spock with his sharp, analytical gaze. Spock continued: “As my Katra was inside your mind and body, I could not help but notice certain feelings you had towards me. Feelings of love.”Spock thinks it is only logical to confront the doctor with his feelings towards him, so they have the talk. First with each other, then with Kirk and eventually with Spock's parents.





	Logical Decisions

They had saved the whales and the world on the same day, Kirk was a captain again, in short: everything was as it should be! Spock decided that he wanted to use this rare moment of piece to talk to Dr. McCoy.

When the door opened, he could see that the doctor was standing at the other end of the room. He was dressed casually in clothes that vaguely resembled those of an old-school cowboy, with his usual scarf tied in a knot around his neck. As he saw Spock entering, he raised his gaze a little without lifting his head and smiled a warm, welcoming smile. “Spock!”, he exclaimed with a bit of astonishment: “What a nice surprise! Do you want a drink?” He motioned towards a bottle that, without a doubt, contained some of the illegal alcoholic beverage that he liked to consume occasionally.

Spock kept his gaze on McCoy while the door shut behind him. His answer was precise as always: “That will not be necessary.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow but did not seem surprised. “I hope you don't want my advice, then...”, he concluded. There was again a smile on his face and Spock noted that he seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood. Perfect conditions for the conversation he had planned to have. Of course, Spock had understood the implications of the remark but decided not to engage in this discussion. He had more important matters on his mind.

Without further ado, he came to the point quickly. “There were some things I wanted to discuss with you since my return from Vulcan”, Spock began to explain. McCoy's body shifted slightly as he leaned against the table behind him, fixing Spock with his sharp, analytical gaze. Spock continued: “As my Katra was inside your mind and body, I could not help but notice certain feelings you had towards me. Feelings of love.”

He stopped to look at the other man. On the last word, the doctor's eyes had trailed off to the ground but met his again quickly. They were very soft now. “That surprises you?”, McCoy asked: “Come on, we've been working together for twenty years now!” There was a bit of offence in his voice but also a warmth that Spock had only heard on rare occasions. It could have been the dimmed light but everything about McCoy seemed to be gentle and kind today. Maybe he had already drank some of the Romulan Ale before Spock had walked in...

“I am talking about romantic love”, Spock continued. There was a pause, as they both looked at each other.

The dark brown eyes and stoic Vulcan features did not betray any emotions. But McCoy too seemed to be turned into stone momentarily. “Well”, he said finally, breaking up the connection between their eyes: “Didn't your mother teach you not to stick your nose into other peoples' business?” His voice was deep and displeased but still had some of the softness from earlier.

Spock had expected many reactions but not this one. After all this time, he still couldn't figure the man out. Maybe this would go better than expected. “Why have you never told me?”, Spock inquired.

The resulting laughter took him by surprise, even though you would never have guessed it from his face. It was a very soft laughter. “Told you?”, McCoy seemed uncharacteristically amused: “What for?” Suddenly it felt like one of their common arguments.

Spock braced himself for what was to come. “Not telling me about your feelings seems highly illogical”, he argued: “For how would you have ever known my response to them?”

“Response?”, McCoy echoed him again but what Spock had lacked in passion, the doctor's voice made up for now: “What kind of response could I have expected from you? You pointy eared, green blooded computer? Response?”, he spat out the word like he couldn't believe it: “What kind of response could a person like me hope for from a person like you!? How could I ever think that you...”, he stopped for a second, before collecting himself, suddenly pointing his finger at Spock: “And don't tell me, you've expected _me_ , of all people, to behave logically! I'm the most illogical, irrational, hot tempered idiot you've ever met! You told me yourself often enough!”, his voice sounded angry now, even accusing: “And leaving that aside, you have no right to stand here and act like I could have told you at any point, anytime without you tearing me to bits for my sentimentality with your... your _logic!_ You cold hearted, apathetic...” McCoy stopped as if he himself was a bit shocked at what he had just said or maybe at what he was about to say. It was clear that there were many more words on his mind that wanted out but he was wise enough to shut his mouth before damaging their friendship beyond repair. Spock knew this. He also knew that McCoy's tactic for any conflict was a straight assault and all his excitement was a defence mechanism to hide behind so that no one would get too close to the truth, his true heart. Spock knew because he used the same tactic but in the opposite way with his logic.

“Did the thought never occur to you”, he asked slowly in his precise voice, ignoring the doctor's outburst: “That I might reciprocate?”

There was a silence. McCoy's eyes flickered from left to right as he seemed to try to read Spock's expressionless face. Finally, he closed them. “No!”, he said very determined: “No! No! No! Spock, you don't get to do this, you don't...”, he was still very angry and suddenly Spock realised it was possible that he just stayed this way for their whole conversation, that he would never let his guard down: “You don't get to just come in here, in my private quarters, after I have invited you so many times! So many times I have asked you to have a drink with me or to speak with me in your free time and never! Not once have you taken that offer! And now you come in here and say that? After all these years! No! No! I'm not up for this! I've had it!” All the softness had gone out of him. He was truly angry but there was also a desperation in his voice that Spock knew only too well, comprised from years of doubt and sadness. The blue eyes that had been so kind were now sparkling with anger. “Why bother now?” McCoy went on: “Just leave it! Don't make me... I can't...”

“I do reciprocate”, Spock said very softly. Seizing the only chance to turn this conversation around.

“What?”, McCoy stared at him blankly. All the heat from before seemed to have left him in one second: “What? No! No, no, no!”, he spoke as if he were in pain: “No! Don't say that! I don't want to hear it! Take it back!”, he stared at the Vulcan as if he expected for him to continue speaking but he remained silent. He did not take it back. “ _Oh God!_ ”, McCoy concluded in utter shock: “ _Oh dear God!_ ” He buried his face in his hands and sank to the ground.

Immediately, Spock rushed forward. He didn't even have to think. They had been in so many dangerous situations together that it was a reflex to check on McCoy. Spock got down on his knees and grabbed him firmly by the shoulders. “Doctor... Leonard”, he said, still in that soft tone. It was the first time that Spock had called him by his first name. McCoy shook his head slowly. He was still covering his face. Suddenly, Spock realised that the tips of McCoy's fingers were wet and he drew the only reasonable conclusion. “To cry in this situation is highly illogical”, he informed him. He did not know how else to respond.

Suddenly, Spock heard a soft, breathless chuckle but when McCoy spoke, his voice was rather sharp. “Shut up!”, he ordered, Nevertheless, he seemed to relax a little.

“Have I done anything wrong?”, Spock wanted to know.

McCoy didn't hesitate. “Just about everything”, he answered.

Spock did not know what he was supposed to do. He had thought that actually telling McCoy about it would have been the hardest part and he had braced himself for any amount of ridicule. This, he had not foreseen. There was a short silence but the Vulcan decided, it was best to let McCoy speak. He concluded that he himself would only worsen the situation so he just held the other man firmly in his grip, assuring him that he was there and that he had meant everything he had said.

After a while, the doctor started to wipe the tears from his eyes. “Tell me again!”, he asked in a demanding tone. It was a tone that he had perfected after years of working under pressure and Spock obliged immediately.

“I do have... feelings for you, Leonard”, he confirmed.

McCoy noted the short pause before the word 'feelings'. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You know, ten years ago, I wouldn't have taken this so lightly”, he continued, holding back an endless stream of remarks. Even now he wanted to rub it in, say more but in a way he was strong enough to hold it back, to let it be. When he continued speaking, his voice was getting a little chattier. Slowly, he was getting back to his old form: “Still, if it were any other emotion or about any other person, I'd skin you alive for it!”, suddenly, there was a mischievous sparkle in his eyes: “I knew it, all this time, that there was something there inside you, in your eyes and your mouth, the way you looked at people and now that you have finally admitted it, I cannot even scold you for it, because it is about me... Very clever of you!”

Everything McCoy had just said could have been taken as a verbal attack but Spock knew him well enough to not be offended. He could hear the warmth in the Doctor's voice and the relieve and happiness. Plus, after all these years, he knew that McCoy was only truly happy, when he could still complain about something. So Spock allowed the muscles in his face to relax, which McCoy would very likely interpret as a smile and stated: “I did not intend to rob you of any joy you might gain from my confession.”

“And here I thought Vulcans didn't joke...”, the Doctor answered. They were silent again, waiting, or maybe just trying to grasp the situation in their heads. McCoy looked at Spock's hands as they were lying on his forearms, holding him not in alarm any more but very gently.

“Maybe we should stand up”, he proposed finally: “I'm an old man, I shouldn't be crawling around on the floor like that.”

Spock agreed and they slowly got to their feet. All the time, one of Spock's hands remained on the doctor's arm for comfort, though maybe more for the Vulcan than the Human. McCoy, not realising this, tried to brush it away. “It's all right, I can walk on my own”, he said a little disgruntled, but when his fingertips touched the back of Spock's hand, he suddenly froze. “Never mind”, he added.

McCoy lead the way to a little couch that was standing nearby and they both sat down, facing each other, their backs to the armrests. The doctor was still confused and needed to collect his thoughts. “You did not really respond to my confession thus far”, Spock observed suddenly and McCoy frowned.

“What do you mean?”, he asked.

Now, Spock seemed a bit unsure. “From what I've gathered it is customary to respond to a confession of love with a revelation of ones own feelings”, he stated, not particularly stressing the word love but not deemphasising it either.

McCoy smiled. “I've not yet heard a confession of love”, he answered and while his smile was teasing, his voice was gentle: “You've only claimed that _I_ love _you_ and said that you have feelings. You didn't say anything about love.” It wasn't really fair of him to demand this but he felt that he needed to hear it, in order to know that it was true, that this was not something else, that Spock really loved him.

Spock's eyes darted down. Slowly, he withdrew the hand that had been still holding on to McCoy. His face tensed up and then he closed his eyes.

McCoy watched him intently. Suddenly, there was some doubt in his mind but he decided that it was foolish so he offered in the kindest tone he could accomplish: “Or, I can start, if you like? In case, you weren't as sure about my feelings as you let me to believe?”

When Spock didn't respond, he reached for the Vulkan's forearm, now being the one holding him for affirmation. At the touch, Spock opened his eyes again. McCoy's smile was warm, his eyes were soft. “I love you, Spock”, he said without hesitation: “I always have. You are the most annoying, dogmatic, person I have ever met. No one can get on my nerves as quickly and effectively as you and maybe I'm an idiot but I love every second of it! You are kind and intelligent and you've always put up with me, even when I've gone too far, and I know I have. But in the end, I hope you understand that it was never out of spite against you but out of the hope that I could, some day get into that thick head of yours and get a glimpse of what goes on inside your heart,” he paused for a second: “This has not been a good confession, I'm afraid but it is how I feel.”

There was a hint of a smile in the corner of Spock's mouth. “Maybe next time you should not use as may insults”, he suggested: “And more compliments.”

McCoy laughed that short, little laugh of his. “Ah, Spock”, he said with a wink: “That's something I cannot promise you.” His eyes were very bright and Spock thought that it was a shame, he wasn't this happy more often. He decided that he should make it his objective to change this.

“I love you too, Leonard”, Spock finally said and the moment, the words were out, it seemed like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, or rather, his heart. McCoy's smile widened but the Vulcan wasn't finished. “You are empathic and impulsive and your view of the world seems to be totally contradictory to mine. We are almost never of the same opinion when it comes to morals and logic, which is precisely why I value our conversations so much. You are intelligent and sometimes wise but always a loyal friend and I cannot imagine my life without you any more.”

He stopped and the last words seemed to form an echo in McCoy's mind. “Gee, Spock”, he said, after collecting himself: “That was a bit much, don't you think?”

“It was the truth”, Spock answered.

McCoy shook his head. “You know I'm not good at taking compliments”, he stated: “So you should definitely work in _more_ insults.”

They sat in silence for a moment, both contemplating what had been said. “What do we do now?”, McCoy finally asked: “What's the protocol after the love confessions are over?” His voice sounded curious rather than mocking. In truth, he had no idea what he was supposed to do next.

But Spock was prepared as always. To anyone else, his voice might have seemed matter of factly but McCoy could hear a hint of nervousness. “After assuring one another of mutual affection the next step would be a physical and mental connection,” he explained. Hearing this, McCoy got nervous as well. Suddenly there was a tension in the air, a feeling of anticipation.

McCoy leaned forward a little. “Tell me what to do”, he demanded.

Spock's eyes were very dark now and there was something in his features that McCoy had never seen before. He moved forward as well so that their legs on the couch were touching. “Can I touch your hands?”, he asked very seriously.

McCoy hesitated for a moment. He wasn't sure how to respond. Would this even work if he was not Vulcan? “Yes”, he said in a tone that was every bit as serious as the Vulcan's: “can I kiss you?”

Now it was Spock who hesitated. Vulcans didn't kiss, or at least not as humans did but he was only half Vulcan... After a brief pause, Spock answered: “Yes.” McCoy leaned forward and Spock took it as a signal to stretch out his hands. Automatically, McCoy formed the Vulcan symbol with his fingers, having seen this on Sarek and Amanda and Spock did the same. The Tips of their fingers met shortly before their lips.

“Wow!”, McCoy didn't know what else to say. It had been so real and intense. So intimate but in a way that he hadn't expected. Who would have thought, after all these years of disagreement and quarrelling, that their minds were so harmonious and complementary? The psychic connection had been as easily established as the physical one and together they were beyond anything both of them had ever experienced. They looked at each other, unable to speak for a moment. Then McCoy began to laugh. “We're a bunch of old fools!”, he said, clearly very happy: “We could have been doing this for twenty years now but instead we decided to bash each others heads in! We could have been so happy!”

Spock's eyes were very soft. “It is never to late to start”, he observed.

The doctor shook his head, still smiling warmly then he leaned forward to kiss Spock again. He hadn't even thought about it but it was different this time, since Spock no longer touched his hand. It was more human, more like the kisses, he had shared with his wife. As soon as he realized this, McCoy withdrew from the touch. “I'm sorry!”, he mumbled: “I didn't think...”

But Spock did not even give him time to continue his thought process. He gripped his hand again, this time only holding it, and said very sincerely: “Never apologise for showing affection towards me!” His gaze was firm and determined and McCoy relaxed again.

“Alright”, he answered: “It's just a bit difficult for me, you being half Vulcan and all... I mean, do you even like human kissing?”

There was a short pause as Spock thought about what to say. First, McCoy was a bit worried, because he thought the hesitation was due to the fact that he did not want to hurt the doctor's feelings but then a light shade of green appeared on the Vulcan's cheeks. When he spoke, he did it slowly as if he was still a bit unsure of how much he wanted to reveal about himself. “I do like these human ways of showing affection”, he stated: “I would also be interested in trying out more of them if that is your wish as well.”

McCoy used this opportunity to squeeze Spock's hand a little, the smile back on his face. “In due time, that would be nice”, he answered.

“So, does this mean, we are in a proper relationship?”, the doctor asked after another short pause.

“Yes”, came the Vulcan's answer without hesitation.

“Great!”, McCoy responded: “Should we tell anyone?” He couldn't help but wonder what Jim would say to this? He would probably not believe it.

“Maybe a short testing phase will be in order?”, Spock offered: “Two months should suffice. If everything goes according to our wishes then we can tell the captain.”

“Sounds good!”, McCoy agreed not in the least bothered by Spock's formal expressions. He was sure that they didn't need the time to figure things out between each other but rather to brace themselves for the reaction of everyone around them.

***

It took Kirk four weeks to notice that something was up. It started one day, when he wanted to speak to Spock and discovered that he was spending his free time in McCoy's quarters. Assuming that they had some important discussion in which Kirk did not want to involve himself, he postponed his own issue to another time. But after seeing it once, he couldn't help but notice that Spock and McCoy seemed to be spending an awful lot of their free time together. When he checked, it even appeared as if they had planned their leave for the future so that it was overlapping.

Kirk knew of course that he should not be using his position as captain and therefore his ability to access all this information to spy on his two closest friends but he felt a bit cheated that they were obviously meeting without him. The most curious thing about this, at least to Kirk, was that they had always been in each others hair so much that he could not see them spending this amount of free time with each other peacefully.

Nevertheless, it seemed to work. On top of the fact that they were around each other, without Kirk to interfere when one of them, usually McCoy, went to far, they also seemed to get along better during work. There had always been a tension between them that had prevented them from becoming really close friends, or at least as much of close friends with each other, as Kirk was with each of them individually. But this tension seemed to be gone all of a sudden. Spock seemed a lot more comfortable in the doctor's presence, in a way that he usually only was when he and Jim were alone. Their arguments had become friendlier, at least when it was not about a really important issue and McCoy in general seemed a lot happier. He was complaining more about little things and smiled to himself more frequently. On occasion, Kirk had even heard him whistle! He was pretty sure that he had never heard Bones whistle in his life!

One evening, when McCoy and him had a drink in his quarters, he couldn't take it any more! “So”, he said as soon, as he had filled their respective glasses: “What is up with you and Spock?”

McCoy, who had had a stressful day and was not quite ready to relax, frowned. “What do you mean?”, he retorted, grabbing the glass. As he saw Kirk raising his glass as well, he let them touch, before taking his first sip. “Cheers”, he muttered.

“Cheers”, Kirk responded reluctantly but he did not take a sip. He just kept staring at his friend.

“You know that it is rude to not drink after saying cheers?”, The doctor remarked.

Kirk ignored him. “You did not answer my question”, he observed.

With a sigh, McCoy put his glass down on the table. “What do you want me to say?”, he asked in a tired voice.

Now Kirk became angry. “I just want to know what is going on with you two!”, he demanded: “Why are you so secretive about it?”

The doctor's eyes narrowed. “There's nothing secret”, he disagreed: “We're just spending time together, that's all.”

“Fine!”, Kirk exclaimed, making a gesture of resignation with his hand that was not holding the glass: “But what exactly are you doing? I find it hard to believe that you two are simply in a room together, doing absolutely nothing!” His voice got a bit louder, as it usually did, when he was having a discussion of which he did not like the outcome but McCoy remained unfazed. He was watching his friend with a bit of amusement before he took another sip from his glass.

“You hit that nail square in the head”, he responded with a look on his face showing that he knew how much this remark would upset Kirk: “That is exactly what we are doing.”

“Nothing!?”, Kirk repeated, getting a little tired of this game: “You expect me to believe that?”

There was a slight change in McCoy's attitude as he saw the hurt expression on his friend's face. “Listen, Jim”, he began in a more friendly tone: “Spock and I both felt that it would be good to spend some time together, to work out our differences. You of all people should know, we have a lot”, at this, Kirk nodded in agreement, “in reality, we don't talk much or do much, we are just in the same room, tolerating each other.” McCoy took another sip from his glass. “There really isn't much to say about it”, he concluded.

He didn't want to tell him, Kirk thought, there had to be more to this than he was admitting! “Maybe I could join you?”, Kirk proposed nonchalantly, studying the doctor's face for clues.

To his displeasure he got nothing except McCoy's usual frown. But what he said next was something they both would have never dreamed to hear coming out of his mouth. “I'd have to ask Spock”, he declared with an uneasy expression as if his body was disagreeing with the words his mind had chosen: “But I see no problem with it.”

Kirk smiled a little triumphantly. “Good!”, he answered: “I will stop by the next time the three of us have leave together!”

“So, never!”, McCoy observed.

“Probably!”, the captain agreed and Bones couldn't help but smile as well.

Never came sooner than Kirk had expected. They were docking to a space station a couple of days later, filling up their supplies and Kirk had managed to get a few hours of leave after everything was settled. The best part was that neither McCoy nor Spock knew about this, so whatever they were doing, he would catch them off guard! When Kirk checked the computer he discovered that the Vulcan was indeed spending his time in the doctor's quarters. With a feeling of anticipation, he made his way over there.

“Jim!”, McCoy was a little surprised to find the captain on his doorstep: “I didn't know you're free as well. You wanna go down to the station?”

“Actually, I was hoping to spend my time with you two here”, Kirk answered and immediately scolded himself for admitting that he had checked Spock's location before coming.

McCoy, however, did not seem bothered. He shot a quick glance inside his quarters, before saying: “Sure, but don't expect too much”, and moved out of the way, so Kirk could come in.

The light was a little dimmed but other than that, everything was normal. Of course apart from the Vulcan who was kneeling on McCoy's bed on a little thing that looked like a cushion. He had his eyes closed and the palms of his hands were touching, fingers forming the Vulcan symbol. Spock was obviously meditating.

McCoy walked to his little table and sat down. When Kirk did likewise, the doctor handed him a reading pad. He had one himself and immediately turned his attention towards it. Kirk waited, looking from the Vulcan to the human. He didn't know what he had expected but it was certainly not this silence.

“What are you reading?”, he asked after a shot pause.

McCoy shot him a glance, one of his lingering looks that never meant he was amused. “Melville”, he answered briefly.

“Ah!”, Kirk nodded: “Yes, one of the classics.” But the doctor made no reply.

Slowly, one of Kirks knees started bouncing up and down. He twisted his reading pad in his fingers. “This is all you do?!”, he finally burst out.

McCoy didn't look up this time. “Told you it was nothing”, he said.

The captain shook his head: “Nothing! You do absolutely nothing!”

“Spock's meditating”, came the answer very quietly from McCoy.

A few moments passed. Kirk flipped through the databases of the pad but could not concentrate. His eyes inadvertently darted towards Spock and McCoy, trying to see what was not there, what was really going on here! “How long does this meditation take?”, Kirk finally asked after trying to be silent for as long as possible.

McCoy shot him another glance, he turned around, looking at Spock, then he fixed his eyes back on Jim. There was a sparkle in them as he smiled and leaned forward, saying in a very low voice: “It takes longer the more you talk.” When he saw the effect on Kirk, McCoy added gently: “Let's go down to the base, Jim. Let's do something! I can see this silence is killing you.”

“No!”, Kirk shook his head: “I want to stay here, I'm fine!”

McCoy raised an eyebrow. Whoever thought this was Spock's trademark move, had not really observed the doctor closely. “Fine”, he said and leaned back again, resuming his reading.

The truth was, that Kirk had no problem with silence. He could sit down for hours, reading technical journals and even preferred it sometimes to going out into noisy pubs. The reason for his uneasiness was not that he could not tolerate the silence but that he felt left out by the two people who meant the most to him in this universe. He sighed but very quietly and opened an article that he had begun reading a week ago and had never found the time to finish. After a few minutes, he was totally still and totally silent, absorbed in the material.

He didn't know how much time had passed but suddenly Spock lowered his hands and stood up. Kirk tried not to stare at him but observed out of the corners of his eyes as the Vulcan walked over to them, positioning himself behind McCoy. And then, something unusual happened. Spock touched McCoy's shoulder with his hand. The doctor looked up and smiled, before closing his book and laying aside the data pad. Kirk could not take it any more. “What is going on?!”, he exclaimed a little more desperately than intended.

Four eyes darted towards him. McCoy chuckled. “Should we tell him?”, he asked, without looking at Spock.

The Vulcan raised both his eyebrows as if he was contemplating it. “That would certainly seem the most logical approach”, he answered.

Kirk was almost tense enough to jump out of his chair. “Tell me what?”, he demanded: “What is going on!?”

“Spock and I are in a relationship”, McCoy explained calmly: “We've been waiting for the right moment to tell you and I think now it has finally come. Our 'testing phase' is over.” He shot a loving look at Spock that could only be interpreted in this way: “So, that's it, that's our big secret.”

This was not what he had expected! Not what he had expected at all! Kirk stared at them. He didn't know how to react.

“It's the truth, Jim”, Spock added, coming to the conclusion that Kirk's confused expressions demanded further validation.

McCoy's eyebrows narrowed. He seemed concerned. “Are you alright, Jim?”, he asked: “This will change nothing, I promise you. We will still do our duty as always...”

“You think that's what concerns me?”, Kirk interrupted him in a distressed voice: “Your duties on the ship? You're my best friends!” He made a pause, looking at them in turn. “This really is true?”, he demanded: “You are not joking?”

There was tension in the air all around them but McCoy decided to relax a little. “Well, you know that Vulcans don't joke”, he answered.

Suddenly Kirk smiled. “And _you_ know, of all people, that that's not true”, he retorted. The cheerful tone in this voice and his smile was everything they had needed. The tension was lifted. Kirk chuckled. He shook his head.

“If somebody had told me yesterday that this would happen, I would have had him certified”, he stated.

McCoy smiled as well when he answered: “And two months ago, I would have been happy to do it.”

Kirk's smile widened. He was just so happy, happy that he finally knew! That they had entrusted this to him! Spock's hand was still casually positioned on McCoy's shoulder, which Jim noticed and it made him even happier. “So”, he continued in a much more light hearted tone: “How has this”, gesticulating with his finger towards the two: “Come about?”

There was a shift in both of them. It had never really occurred to him, but the two really seemed to move in sync a lot.

“Well”, McCoy started, as Spock crossed his arms: “While Spock's mind was in my head, he decided to feel free and snoop around a little. And so he found out that I had been in love with him for years.”

“I did the only logical thing”, Spock continued: “Which was to confront Leonard about his feelings and to reveal my own thoughts on the subject.”

It was all said in such a manner that Kirk could hardly be serious. He would have loved to have been there! “Ah, yes, quite logically”, he answered with an arch smile, also noticing that this was the first time he had heard Spock use McCoy's first name. It sounded very natural.

Normally, McCoy would have commented on this speech from the Vulcan, but he didn't and Kirk wouldn't. “I am happy that it all went so smoothly”, he observed instead which prompted McCoy and Spock to look each other briefly. They didn't say anything. “I can only imagine, you two sitting down and discussing this. . . logically”, Kirk went on and finally got the expressions he was hoping for. “I am also very happy for you!”, he continued in a more earnest manner, feeling that his friends deserved his blessing in every way that he could give it: ”We've all been though so much together and I can honestly say that it fills my heart with joy to see you both so happy! Because, I have noticed it over the past few weeks, even if you think I haven't!”

Speaking like this made them a bit uneasy but he didn't care! They were gloomy often enough and, from his point of view, could both do with some more positivity. “So”, he said, clapping in his hands: “Now that this is settled and you have assured me, as your captain, that it will not influence your work, and now that I have assured you that I am very happy for you, why don't we go to the outpost and have some fun? You have been shutting yourself off from me quite enough lately!”

Even though this was said light heartedly, there was something in his voice that made McCoy think he deserved an apology. “I'm sorry, Jim”, he said earnestly: “We needed to figure this out with each other first and you know how long _that_ can take with us. We didn't mean to leave you out.”

And if that wasn't enough, Spock added immediately: “He speaks for me too, Jim, I'm sorry.”

“Aaaah, well...”, Kirk was actually touched: “Let's not fuss about any more! This is an occasion for joy! You two have finally worked out your differences! I never thought, I'd live long enough to hear that!”

Spock had to interject: “I wouldn't go quite so far, Captain, but we are on a good course.”

McCoy's smile was very infectious, at least for the other human and after a little back and forth between all of them, they set out to the star base. Kirk was happy to be included again and to find that their old dynamic hadn't changed. In due time he would sit down with Bones and have him tell him a lot more about all of this, but at present he just wanted to spend time with his friends and observe them and see what was changed and what wasn't.

They settled in a little booth of a local bar and were soon involved in a customary card game which involved a lot of strategy and planning. Spock and Kirk engaged in a playful battle of minds as they did so often, when playing chess, while McCoy placed his deck at a whim, leaning back and enjoying the conversation. The humans were laughing and smiling and from time to time, McCoy and Spock would share a look of affection. They were all very happy. Everything was as it should be.

***

To say that Spock was nervous would have been incorrect. Nevertheless, there was an uneasiness in his mind as he approached the door to his parents' quarters. He was alone to avoid any possible awkwardness that the reaction of his parents, especially his father, could cause for his partner and for once, McCoy had not argued.

It was his mother who opened the door but Sarek was there as well. They exchanged the normal greetings and inquires about their respective careers. It was his mother, of course, who finally asked about his private life. “Has it been easy, reconnecting with your friends?”, she wanted to know with a concerned look. Sareks stony expression remained intact so there was no clue as to what he thought of this inquiry.

Spock lowered his gaze to hers, his expression softened. “Actually, There is something in this regard I have been meaning to tell you”, he said: “Since I have returned to the Enterprise there has been a development of private nature.”

The eyes of his mother widened. He tried to focus on her rather than his father. “I have finally professed my long lasting admiration to a friend of mine and since this admiration was mutual, we have entered a relationship”, Spock said in his most calm voice.

Now his mother's eyes seemed to shine. A bright smile appeared on her face and she opened her hands as if to embrace him. Instead, she simply placed her palms on both his upper arms very briefly, simply holding the contact for a moment. “I am very happy for you!”, she said: “There is nothing a mother can want more than for her son to love someone and to be loved in return!” She might have said more, had her husband not been there. “Who is it?”, she asked: “Someone we know?”

Spock broke eye contact to finally look at his father. There was nothing to be read in the older Vulcan's face. This also didn't change, when Spock continued: “His name is Leonard McCoy. You have met him on your visit to the Enterprise many years ago. He was the one who performed the operation on your heart and saved your life.”

“I remember”, Sarek said in his precise voice.

“I remember him too”, Amanda continued before there could be a pause: “I got the impression that he was a very kind and professional man. And if I am not mistaken, he had a lovely smile as well, when I told him about your pet.” Amanda smiled reminiscing.

“He was very emotional”, Sarek observed but Amanda would not let this remark stand.

“Just like me I suppose”, she retorted.

Until now, Sarek had looked at Spock but now he turned his gaze to his wife, the expression in his face softening ever so slightly. “That is correct”, he said: “And I assume that the decision of Spock to enter a relationship with McCoy was every bit as logical as my decision to marry you.”

There were many was to interpret this remark and she liked every single one of them.

“Why don't you give Spock that necklace I gave you, when we first committed ourselves to each other?”, Sarek proposed: “It seems only logical that he should give it to McCoy.”

Amanda was overjoyed to heed his command and so it almost looked like she flew away in her fluttery dress, when she turned around and rushed out of the room.

Spock and Sarek were alone. They looked at each other. “Do you have something on your mind, my son?”, Sarek asked after a short pause.

Spock did not hesitate. “This was not the reaction I expected from you”, he professed.

Sarek studied his face for a moment. “I understand what you mean”, he said: “But my attitude to a lot of thing has changed in recent years, as I have told you before. I want what every parent wants: For their child to fulfil their potential and to lead a full, accomplished life. If being in a relationship with a human is essential for you to reach that goal, I will support your decision.”

Spock nodded. “That is most kind of you”, he said.

Amanda was back with the necklace in her hand. It was a diamond shaped blue stone, attached to a delicate, silver chain. “I think it will match his eyes perfectly”, she said with a little wink. Spock thanked her appropriately and put it into the pocket of his trousers. They talked a little more and after he had promised to bring McCoy with him on his next visit, she let him take his leave.

***

McCoy was sprawled out in his chair, reading an electrical book, when Spock entered his quarters. The Vulcan observed McCoy's relaxed body, so unlike the stance of constant alarm that he was in normally when he was on duty. He decided that he liked this relaxed posture a bit more than his alert one but maybe it was only because not many people got to see him like this. When he walked up to him, McCoy raised his gaze and smiled his very soft smile. “Hello Spock”, he said, raising two of his fingers so that Spock could touch them in the Vulcan custom. To anyone who didn't know, it was hard to explain how this felt.

“How was the meeting with your parents?”, McCoy went on, marking the passage in his book and putting the pad down on the table.

Spock sat down next to him. “It was efficient”, came the response: “I discussed all that I wished.”

McCoy laughed a little at Spock's expressions. “Those are the best kinds of family meetings!”, he retorted.

But Spock was not finished. “They want to meet you”, he informed him: “Officially.”

McCoy raised an eyebrow. “Your father as well?”, he asked.

“Both of them”, Spock said.

McCoy seemed pleased but also looked a little nervous. “Alright”, he said: “I guess I can't get around it.” They were silent for a moment. Spock was clearly contemplating something.

“There is a topic which I have been meaning to discuss with you for a while now and after today I am certain that I should not postpone it further”, Spock said finally. McCoy sat up a little in his chair, so that he was leaning straight against the back of it. He was listening. Spock went on in the same matter of fact tone as before: “We have scheduled our next leave so that we can take it together and I originally planned to use it as an occasion to propose to you. But now I feel that we should take it as an opportunity to have our wedding, since we do not know when it will be possible to get leave at the same time again.” He stopped.

McCoy studied his face for a moment, then his smile widened. “Is that so?”, he asked.

Spock didn't deem the question worthy of an answer so he waited. McCoy had leaned forward in his chair. “How were you going to propose to me?”, he asked.

Spock didn't hesitate. When he spoke it became clear that he had thought about this a great deal: “I know that you love everything related to an era of the earth called 'the wild west' and you also like being alone and cut off from every form of technology. Therefore, I would have planned a camping trip for the two of us, somewhere in the mountains or near a river. I may have asked Jim to lend us two of his horses so that we could travel a greater distance in a shorter period of time and also to add to the wild west thematic.”

“That actually sounds like something I would love!”, McCoy confessed. He was a bit surprised how well Spock had figured him out.

“One night, when we would be sitting at the campfire, under the stars, I would have asked you”, Spock went on. Suddenly, he looked at McCoy very intently: “Leonard Horatio McCoy, Will you marry me?”

There was a silence. McCoy looked at him. He seemed a little startled. “I'd never thought you'd ask me that!”, he mumbled, leaning back again: “Middle name and everything...” His gaze trailed off. He looked on the ground. Suddenly, Spock felt tense. He had not thought that it would be possible to call into question the fact that Leonard would say yes to this. He had been so sure of his affection!

McCoy was still looking at the floor when he spoke again. His voice was soft and quiet. “I guess I have never told you this, but when I got divorced, I swore to myself that I would never get married again”, he stated: “It broke my heart. I couldn't go back to my old life. So much so that I joined Starfleet. I had to get away from earth, so I went to space. And you know how much I hate space!” He became silent. When he looked at Spock his eyes were full of guilt and regret.

Spock's face was totally blank as he reflected on what the doctor had just said. Finally his mind came to a conclusion. “You would not have to go back to earth to get married”, he offered and a small smile began to creep up McCoy's face again.

“That's true”, he agreed: “But if I know you at all, you don't want to get married on Vulcan.”

“Correct”, Spock affirmed: “But there is another option apart from Earth and Vulcan. As a Starfleet captain, Jim is allowed to perform marriages on his ship. We could get married on the Enterprise. If that would be acceptable to you?”

“Acceptable?”, McCoy echoed him. He laughed. “Yes, yes, it would be acceptable!” The doctor shook his head. “I'm sorry, Spock, I'm an old fool!”

Seeing McCoy laugh again, Spock relaxed a little. It had had nothing to do with him, he thought. Almost automatically, he stretched out his right hand and took hold of McCoy's left one. Their Fingers were intertwined, more in a human gesture than a Vulcan one. “I love you”, McCoy said, now a bit more serious: “And I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you! It's just that I'm a bit afraid. I had this happen to me once, you know. I don't think I can go through this again.” He didn't specify but Spock knew what he meant.

When he spoke, he spoke very carefully: “To my understanding, a breakup would automatically be very painful. Being married or not would have no impact on that.”

“I know!”, McCoy mumbled. There was a bit of anger in his voice even though it seemed to be directed more at himself.

But Spock wasn't finished. “I am not getting married to you with the intent of getting divorced”, he went on: “Besides”, there suddenly was a hint of a smile: “I doubt that there is anything that you could do after all these years of constant nagging, to make me break up with you.” He had expected a smile or a laugh but all that happened was that McCoy looked even more depressed. “Leonard”, Spock said, before the situation could get even more out of hand: “I love you! And I will not divorce you. I promise!”

This was such an absurd statement that McCoy just had to laugh. It was a quiet and soft laughter that made Spock relax, which McCoy noted. He squeezed Spock's hand a little. “You should save that for your vows towards me!”, he said, finally smiling again: “I bet Jim would be delighted to marry two people to each other who do _not_ want to get divorced”

“So you will marry me?”, Spock inquired. McCoy felt sorry for all the confusion.

“Yes”, he said in a reassuring voice: “I will marry you. If you are really sure that that is what you want?”

“In that case”, Spock let go of McCoy's hand and reached into his pocket: “I want you to take this as a token of my affection”, he produced the necklace that his mother had given him: “When I mentioned our relationship to my parents today, my father proposed that I should give this to you like he gave it to my mother upon their engagement. The pendant is made out of a rare Vulcan mineral.”

McCoy seemed perplexed. “Your father thought you should give it to me?”, he asked, which Spock affirmed. “Well, in that case..”, the doctor stretched out his hands and took the necklace. After inspecting it for a moment, he put it on. Spock's eyes followed his motions. Suddenly there was a hint of a green blush on his cheeks. “What is it?”, McCoy asked.

Spock looked down on the ground but then he met McCoy's gaze. “My mother was right”, he said: “ It does bring out your eyes.”

McCoy beamed. He leaned in to kiss Spock very gently on the mouth. How could he ever have doubted that marrying him was a good idea?

**Author's Note:**

> This work is posted as finished but I could see myself writing more, for example the wedding :)


End file.
